There are 3 ways to see life:
1 I don’t trust life
2 I trust myself
3 I trust life
A paradigm is a way of seeing life. An overall point of view that affects all areas of life. And as we evolve as human beings we tend to go through these 3 major paradigms, one after the other. Which go from Less Accurate in terms of how life really works, to More Accurate, and thus closer to Truth.
Spirituality helps us move in that direction.
So let’s explore these 3 different ways of thinking, aka. paradigms.
First Paradigm: Survival
I don’t trust life!
At this level of thinking, life seems to be about survival.
The core idea is that “I don’t trust life” Life is hard and it can hurt me. So I must do what I can to survive.
The main approach to life here is Sacrifice. You have to do what you have to do to make money, provide and keep going forward. Even if means tolerating unfulfilling jobs, staying in unhappy relationships, and feeling like there’s just no other way.
This is typically the paradigm of our parents, who saw life as a predictable path. Going to school, getting married, getting a job or a few jobs, and providing for your family.
Family and financial security were the main priorities, and it didn’t matter much if you actually felt good about either one of them.
Until eventually we reach the ceiling of this way of thinking. We come to be tired of neglecting our own needs, and sacrificing ourselves just to keep afloat.
We want a better life. And realize that there’s a very promising way to achieve that, and so many books and materials that can help us.
That’s when we begin to move into the second paradigm.
Second Paradigm: Success
I trust myself!
Once we get tired enough of sacrificing ourselves, we lift our head and see another possibility. The possibility of empowerment. Of setting goals for our life, and dedicating ourselves to them.
We enter the paradigm of Success.
Here the core idea is “I trust myself!”
Life is difficult, but I can face it. All I need to do is get smarter, learn more and apply the right strategies to succeed at what I desire.
Learning, being smart and thus following the right steps and strategies becomes the overall life approach in this paradigm.
Life becomes about performance. You think “The better I perform, the more I’ll get what I want.”
Until eventually we hit the ceiling of this way of thinking too.
We start being worn out by constant stress and pressure that we put on ourselves. In this way of thinking EVERYTHING seems possible. And we judge ourselves for not doing enough, for not doing things well enough, and taking too long to succeed.
We start to feel overwhelmed and even burned out at some point. And even if we try to slow down and take time off, take care of ourselves and relax. Once we get back on the ambition horse, the same stressors come back.
And the worst of it all, is the subtle but more and more prevalent feeling of emptiness. Like “What’s the point? Why am I even doing what I do?”
We realize that we’re not really happy EVEN when we reach those goals and milestones we hoped for.
The stress and sense of emptiness then make us ready for the next shift in thinking about life.
We’re ready for the spiritual paradigm.
Third Paradigm: Surrender
I (learn to) trust life.
At this point we’re starting to realize that the point of life is not in success but in our outer and inner well-being. Which could be simply defined as a state of alignment and serenity.
Life becomes then more about inner peace, and less about outer success. We were always really looking for peace, it’s just that we thought it could be found outside by first surviving, and then succeeding. Yet neither of them brought the actual peace.
Peace in reality is not found outside in controlling our life, but inside in the awareness of truth. In the truth that we are not really separate beings, but part of an intelligent whole.
With deeper exploration, we realize that we can trust life’s intelligence to take care of itself as us.
Our main approach thus becomes surrender, honesty and ease, rather than sacrifice and toleration (first paradigm) or strategies and striving (second paradigm).
The new found spiritual clarity gives you a sense of inner security. Which allows you to feel at peace inside.
Life then is lived FROM a place of peace, trust and security, NOT in search of them.
And from this place of security, the only thing that makes sense to do is simply follow our joy.
To listen to your heart and that which you actually feel like doing moment to moment. And no longer get distracted by your fear based desires, goals and ambitions.
Life becomes about authenticity. About following your truth moment to moment, and letting things arrange themselves as they must.
Which is really when life starts to function right. We become aligned with our truth and with life’s overall intelligent flow… The Tao.
We surrender to the flow, and allow ourselves to be moved by life, through our joy and ease, toward what is the next right thing, person, project, idea for us etc.
We are being lived in the most natural and aligned way possible.
We live in trust and surrender. And let our joy lead the way.
Live better,
Liviu Beschieri
